Certain Degree of Everything
by Kookiebites13
Summary: Mason had never been just Mason. It was always Mason and Phil, Phil and Mason. Despite his annoying brother, he liked it that way. Then came Lulu, the fangirling karate girl. No big, right? But as if it wasn't enough, came Phil's silly crush. So Mason was left to deal with everything. It's fine. Problem: no one mentioned how "everything" always come at you in a mad landslide.
1. Still the Same

**A/N: Hey ho! I'm giving simple stories a try (since most of my stories are rather dark or serious). Since I had no idea for the penguins, I figured I'll just have to play with this trio!**

**This will be a collection of short stories. Mostly it will be friendship related, there will be some light romance and it will get a little heavier somewhere nearing the end.**

**I hope you like it. P.S. Thanks Layla for the advice! *gives virtual hugs and cookies***

**Disclaimer: I do not own Penguins of Madagascar, especially not the characters.**

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Chapter 1: Still the Same

Phil has been pestering him about it _all week_. It was no surprise, though.

Mason knew his brother had the best time in middle school, what with being one of Coach Blake's favorites and nominated every year for class clown. But once they entered the chaos of high school was when things turned for the worse for him.

Middle school was different. Phil had friends who came over their house and wreck their room, he was a B straight student, and he even had a crush on that lovely Leeves daughter, Lulu. Mason used to wake up with a random AC/DC song and Phil's sock on his face, but in high school he always woke up with an empty bunk above him.

At least, things got better in college. Lulu made a reappearance, and everyday since, Mason could swear that his brother's cheeks were almost as red as his flaming messy hair. With a few nudge from friends and alike (although the twins never took Marlene's advice, the only close female friend they have in college) Phil finally got himself a lunch date with Lulu, and things got better even further.

So now, five years after they got their degree, with a ring into the picture and a perfect job to occupy each of them, life just got better yet again for Philip Pane.

"How did your first day went?" asked Mason, flipping through the TV channel as his twin brother texted his middle school friends about the upcoming reunion, elated.

"Honestly, I don't remember a thing," Lulu replied with a bored sigh. She just came home from her karate practice. Her body was slumped against the couch, her gi was already dumped in the washing machine, but her black belt was tied around her head. The boys weren't allowed to ask.

"Really? Well, I remember being stuffed in the locker. And I remember that time when Phil accidentally went to the girl's bathroom." The last sentence earned him a slap on his arm. Mason just winced as he rubbed the red spot and Phil gave him a sly look before returning to his smartphone.

Lulu told him to put the remote down as they settled for an old TV series rerun. The show was about four ordinary kids who enrolled in a boarding school full of superhero children and they ended up being the school's elite espionage force. Their main task was protecting the students from Dr. Franco Bluejoe, a mad scientist who wanted to turn the students into his minions. The three of them were (and still) big fans of _St. Mad's School for Immortals_. Mason clicked on the channel just in time for Kowalski's famous declaration of love for Doris; it was Lulu's favorite scene. He turned around towards his future sister in-law who kicked them both out of the couch so she could have it all for herself to watch her start to fangirl. She was mouthing the lines perfectly, her eyes never left the screen, and for some unknown reason a small smile tugged at the corner of his mouth. That scene didn't end on a happy note, though. Because Doris didn't – can't – love him back. It turned out that she was actually Bluejoe's sister, and she was working for him. Even so, after Kowalski left with a broken heart, she made a promise to never hurt him in any way while still working for her brother. She couldn't fulfill it, of course, because Kowalski was injured pretty badly in season 3 and he almost died. Mason had been skeptic about that odd promise from the very beginning, but Lulu had always been supportive of it.

"Why would she promise to do such an impossible thing?" Mason had asked back in middle school.

"It's a human thing, Mason. When it comes to your feelings," she started, trying not to wake Phil who was sleeping in the tree house, "…everything is worth the risk."

Lulu had also said that he would never understand, because boys will still be boys, and although Mason felt a little bit offended he agreed completely.

"Hey Mason, do you remember our class' time capsule?"

It took Mason quite some time to remember, but Phil remembered immediately. His hands shot straight up and he waved it around in excitement. He motioned about the first A+ he got on Biology being in there, along with his locker combination, a photo of his basketball championship, and his secret letter.

"What secret letter?"

Lulu perked up upon his confusion. "You know… that anonymous letter thing our class did. We wrote an anonymous letter and address it to someone, and when the time capsule is opened again we would read it together."

An old light bulb of memory flickered on in his brain, causing a short flashback to play in his mind. He remembered putting an essay that Mrs. Gray praised to no end in Literature class and his student of the year medal in that bright orange box, but no secret letter.

"Huh. I don't remember putting a secret letter in there," he said.

"I didn't do it either. It was optional," Lulu reminded him. "So, are we going to chat about some old letters or are we going to watch _Immortals_?"

The twins grinned. Mason made a run for the kitchen to grab popcorn and soda, Phil grabbed more pillows and reset the heater, while Lulu wrapped her body with an old blanket. As the marathon rerun played on, they also talked about Immortals' fanfictions and unsurprisingly came up with a crazy super long idea about what happened to Skipper in Denmark.

"Oh no, we are not killing him."

"Why? It would be super tragic! Plus, we can make Rico find out that his mom is actually a superhero but he didn't inherit any of her powers."

Phil slurped on his soda and he glared at his fiancé with disagreement. His hands moved around, and both Lulu and Mason translated it as, "Ok, the Rico idea is pretty good. But not the other one! He always dies!" Mason's thought was similar.

Lulu's eyes twinkled for a bit, and Mason felt the urge to add another thing, "And we're not killing Private either.

Annoyed that her future brother-in-law figured out her plan, she crossed her arms. "Oh, alright. But if we ever write this, I get to make Koris endgame."

The twins rolled their eyes upon seeing her fangirl grin.

"Oh please, at least it's better than Phil's sick obsession with FrancoxDoris."

"PHIL!"

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**A/N: Yes, I mentioned fanfiction in a fanfiction. Haha. Sorry Luna for the … you know *wink***

**Thanks for reading. Review, maybe?**


	2. Birthday Present

**A/N: Chapter two is here. Hope you like it. And see if you can find some reference to another show I'm a fan of heheh.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own PoM, or that one character reference to another show.**

**Oh and sorry for the surnames. I couldn't help it.**

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Chapter 2: Birthday Present

Mason could still hear the bombarding laughter in the hallway. He hated it, he hated every single laughter that ignored his scream for help. It was no surprise that he and his brother could hold grudges, but what surprised everyone in the family was the fact that Mason could hold bitter grudges longer than his brother. Phil has always been cheery and friendly, although with a bit of hygiene issue on the side. But Mason, he was the quiet one. True, Phil had hold more bitter grudges than him, but every single grudges Mason had could last more than a month. And now he had a full jock group of eight graders to hate on for the whole year. So far this middle school thing had a bad sign with bright neon all over it.

"Let me out!"

As if being stuffed in some random person's locker wasn't enough, the first period bell rang furiously, clearing the hallway from anyone that could help.

"I say, this might as well be the appropriate reason for Mum to sign me up for homeschooling." Well, that's the good thing. Elementary school, he could handle it. Sixth grade back in Ottawa wasn't so bad. But moving out of Canada _and_ enrolling in a public school? No go.

His redden fists were raised up again for one last try. The air was getting thick and it was getting too hot for his liking.

"HELP!" He kept banging and banging the metal door as loud as he could.

He took a glance at his watch. It has been half an hour. He just hoped Phil was already in class.

"Somebody help!"

With the little energy he had left, he let his fist slam into the door once again before his body finally came to rest against it. Maybe he could stay here until the last period. He had enough gummy bears and a bottle of water to last a whole day. He also had his favorite poem collection book to entertain him for the next few hours. He could ma-

There was a sound of the locker's combination turning. Unfortunately the desperation had made the sound alien to the boy that he didn't react on time. The door burst open just before Mason realized that he was in a dangerous position, and he landed almost head first on the hallway floor with a comical grunt.

"Ugh … Thank God I'm out," he muttered while rubbing his sore neck.

"And me."

The female voice startled him into sitting up. He couldn't see anything at first, for the sudden presence of light surprised his dark blue eyes. He stumbled upon trying to stand up, but then a pair of hands prevented him from falling again, and that was when he could see his rescuer clearly. Her two short braids were a shade of brown, she was dressed in a pale yellow shirt, knee-length white skirt with green fabric belt and purple leggings.

What Phil would say if he knew that a girl saved his brother….

"Oh, yes, well… My apologies, Miss."

"It's Leeves," she held out her hand to him. "Lulu Leeves. Try not to make a pun out of it or I'll kick you in the butt."

The boy gulped. "Duly noted. I'm Mason Pane." They shook hands. Mason tried not to think about how awkward it is that the locker he was stuffed in was actually hers or how his first friend here turned out to be a girl.

Wait, what was he thinking? They weren't friends.

"So what were you doing in my locker?"

Bam. No use to ignore the fact now, Mason.

She gave him a weird look, then he realized that she wanted to put her backpack in her locker. Mason slid to the left, and let her access to her locker.

"Some eight graders stuffed me in there."

"Was it the A-List gang?" she said, pulling out a couple textbooks out and then slamming the door shut.

"I don't know. I just got here, and I've been stuck in there for half an hour."

She winced lightly before motioning for him to follow her. "Wow. It's so cramped in there." Mason did as told. "How _pain_ful was it?"

The boy scowled. "Don't do that."

"Sorry, it was lame, I know." She shot him a small grin and a friendly offer, "Let's not make puns to each other's name, how's that?"

Mason thought about it for a moment – not that he needed to, it was just his reflex to think over stuffs before acting – then he said, "I'd like that."

"You'd like what, young man?"

The two kids cringed upon hearing the third voice and stopped dead in their tracks.

Lulu was the first to turn around. She was looking rather calm, though it was clear that she was anything but. "Mr. Lancer! Good morning! How's life treating you?"

"Good, Miss Leeves. But shouldn't you answer the question instead?" The bald man's formal face was gone faster than the wind, and he was definitely not calm either. "You're late to my class. Where were you, young lady?"

Lulu blurted out, "Arggh I had to clean up the mess in karate room. I'm being a responsible leader!"

"A responsible leader would've cleaned it _yesterday_, when you had run straight home from school instead."

"But a new episode of Immortals was airing! I can't miss it. I'm a diehard fan!" Mr. Lancer weren't amused by her fangirl outburst, and yet the girl smiled sheepishly anyway. "Well, it's better than nothing, right, Mr. Lancer?"

Mr. Lancer crossed his arms and with a stern look, he said, "De-ten-tion. Both of you." Mason looked pretty stressed already, but Lulu still hasn't shown any distress. "And your mother is looking for you, Miss Leeves."

Lulu groaned and buried her face in her palms, and she whispered, "It sucks having your mom as the principal. Don't let anyone make you think otherwise," to Mason before she halfheartedly walked towards the principal's office. Lancer though, had heard her, and he said, "It sure is, Miss Leeves. It sure is."

After Lulu was gone out of sight and Mason being the only focus of Mr. Lancer, Mason gulped nervously. Mr. Lancer was about to say something when suddenly a lady janitor appeared behind Mason, dragging a similar looking boy behind her who were struggling with red cheeks.

"Oh, and what did this one do, Alice?"

Alice, the red headed woman in janitor outfit grunted, "I found him snooping around in the girls' bathroom, Mr. Lancer."

Phil's face got even redder. "What? No! I wasn't snooping around! I read the sign wrong, Miss, honest!"

But neither Alice nor Lancer would hear it. Alice dropped the boy next to his brother harshly. Phil gave Mason a look that said, "You too, huh?" and Mason nodded in annoyance.

"So, detention, Mr. Lancer?" said Alice with a smug grin.

"Detention."

"Detention," the two boys repeated in a sigh of depression, before being herded to class by Mr. Lancer.

Seventh grade should be fun.

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**A/N: Thanks for reading!**


	3. Danish Basketball

**As always...**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Penguins of Madagascar or its characters.**

**And I can't wait to write more Immortals fangirling moments. (It was slightly inspired from Central Park Dormitory by catty-cat-cat - and for some reason St. Olga's Reform School for Wayward Princesses too - btw...)**

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Chapter 3: Danish Basketball

The ordinary basketball bounced and bounced on the pavement as Phil guided it towards the nearby park. Weather was peaceful but most importantly, detention had been uneventful.

Mason wouldn't tell him what got him into detention that morning other than the fact that he was late for first period. Although Phil did hear him grumbling something about the 'A-List' and a new episode he didn't know about (he also commented on 'marketing' or something, but Phil still didn't get it). Honestly, Mason's talking-to-himself ritual creeped him up sometimes. Even after twelve years knowing him, Phil still had troubles tolerating it. He swore that Mason was actually talking to…

Forget it.

Mason had never gotten into this sort of trouble before today. Phil couldn't even imagine what his twin was doing back at home just because of this detention fiasco.

And the twins never imagined that their dad's gaze can be _that_ life-threatening before, either.

_"Your first day of school, and you've already gotten into trouble?"_

To Phil, the awesome part was that Mason was on the scolded side too.

_"Next time this happens again, you two will be grounded for two weeks."_

At least what happened to Mason wasn't as embarrassing. If he had died in that locker – which Phil hoped would never happen – he could haunt the school, roam around protecting the innocents and kick some bully butts to quench his thirst for revenge. _I mean, how cool is that?_ Phil grinned to himself.

_If I had died in the girls' bathroom – wait how do you die in a _bathroom_ anyway? – Oh well, it'll be fun… until Mason's ghost finds me and exposes me to Grandma so she can shoot me with one of her guns._

_I'm telling you, Mason, dibs on Grandma's guns._

_Why would she have guns, anyway?_

Phil caught the ball midair just before entering the park's basketball field. The park itself was mostly deserted, probably because it was Monday. The basketball field was occupied by a kid with jet black hair which oddly seemed too shiny, like silk. His lips were much redder than it should be, but if Phil had to guess it was probably because of the red lollipop the kid was eating.

"Hey you!"

Despite the park's condition, Phil was still surprised to find the kid's finger pointed at him.

"What?"

The kid marched closer, abandoning his own basketball that was thrown right into the hoop just seconds before. "What are you doing here?" Phil guffawed inwardly at his accent and his demanding look. How old is this kid? What, nine?

"Well, I have a basketball right here with me… I thought my intention was clear enough."

"You think you're so smart, don't you?"

Phil shrugged. "Nothing much. B-straight student. Hey, don't introductions start off with names?"

"I don't care about your name," he glowered, "But everyone here knows _my_ name," said the boy, who could just be the one to be honored with 'snobbiest glare of the year' award in Phil's whole life. Sure, his twin and their mother came close before. Or maybe Phil was just biased.

Phil grimaced playfully, and then he started throwing his basketball back and forth between his two hands. "Well, I don't. I thought from the sentence 'introductions start off with names' you'd get the idea that I don't know."

The boy squinted, half digesting Phil's sentence and half annoyed out of his mind. "What's your deal, man?"

Phil laughed inwardly – this kid was too cute.

"What's with the German accent?" Phil threw the ball to the ground; it bounced up right into the kid's waiting hands.

"FYI, it's not German accent," retorted the boy. The ball bounced back into Phil's hands with burning irritation. Losing the ball seemed to calm his nerves a bit, especially after Phil received it with an 'oof' he failed to hide. It managed to tug the corner of his mouth to grin if only slightly. "I was raised in Denmark before I moved here."

Phil was started. He was very sure that it was German. But then again, he still couldn't point out which one is Netherland and which one is Germany on a blind map. _See, Dad should've taken me on his Europe business trip last summer._ "Isn't it like… still further north? How did you end up here?" Phil passed the ball to him.

This time somehow the kid looked like he could find comfort from it, and he dribbled it for a while as if to muster some courage to answer back before doing so. "My parents split up when I was little. When Dad remarries his first wife I was handed back to my Mom. I can tolerate my sister, but my cousins?" He shuddered. The ball was back in his hands. "They're all crazy. And I have to live next door to them."

Phil rolled his eyes. "If you wanna talk crazy, you should see my brother. He's crazy clean. I think he has light OCD or something. He can't stop complaining about my socks, dude, like… he should totally chill. He couldn't even tolerate sweat."

The dribble stopped as the kid's eyebrow rose in interest; his brown eyes were beaming devilishly. "Oh then he should meet my cousin. She's also crazy clean."

"No one is as crazy clean as my brother."

He walked up to Phil and handed him the ball back with a shudder. "Fortunately for your bro, I was being sarcastic."

"Really?"

"Absolutely, dumb-dumb. She smokes, her room is nasty stinky, and she has gas issue _every night_. My aunt had given up on changing her years ago, and Mom just let her be because she's a genius."

"Was that last bit sarcastic too?"

The boy gave him a look before half sighing and half groaning, "No, unfortunately. I'm just glad that she's in college already so she should be moving away sometime soon."

"Mason wouldn't survive a _minute _with her."

"And that's without her noticing him."

Phil burst into laughter. Images of Mason bottling up his disgust or fainting flooded Phil's mind. He would pay to see that.

To his astonishment, the kid was actually laughing with him.

New York turned out to be not so bad.

After their laughter died down, he eyed Phil from top to bottom, and he had a calculating look on his face that Phil didn't know how to react on. But then, he said, "Look, you might be a little weird. But I like you."

"Uhh thanks?"

"Up for a one on one?"

Phil grinned challengingly.

"Phil Pane."

"Hans Leeves."

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**A/N: Phil and Hans. Give them a big applause, peeps!**


	4. Shot A Flash, Shot An Arrow

**A/N: *coughs due to dust* I'm back... I'm gonna clean this up. A bit. Then everything else after I'm finished (which I absolutely hope I will).**

**PS: I can now officially say that I'm a PoM fan that had survived a real (toned-down) military camp! Wahooo!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own PoM. Dreamworks owns them. This story is purely fiction. (Heyyy, why so rigid, man?)**

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Chapter 4: Shot A Flash, Shot An Arrow

When Phil woke up, his brother was gone.

More importantly, the alarm by the nightstand was blinking 7:20 in bright red.

And his mom was blaring downstairs.

Darn it.

He jumped off his bed, which was the top one, and sprinted almost in lightning speed to the bathroom. One of the things he didn't like about being twins was the color coding cliché, but now he was bursting with appreciation for his mom's idea. If she hadn't color coded their stuffs – blue for him and red for Mason – Phil would've accidentally picked up his brother's toothbrush that morning. He raided his wardrobe to look for something presentable to the teachers and finally settled on a long sleeved white shirt and a blue t-shirt on top, although after he finished, slammed the bedroom door shut, almost tripped on Maru, received an icky kiss from his mom and ran outside the house, he had to go back because he realized that he was wearing pants backwards.

_Then_, he ran about five blocks to Eastford Middle School, arriving just in time for homeroom.

"Clemson."

"Get lost."

"I know it was you."

"What do you want from me? I already said _happy birthday_ yesterday."

"Oh yes," she said, clasping her hands together in front of her abdomen, like how Vera Leeves always did it on her formal moments. She was rubbing off on her, everyone knew it, and Clemson stopped for a while to think that one day this irritating cousin of his would have to come to terms with this fact that she hated with a passion if she wanted to continue living in peace. And since Clemson wanted to be there to capture that moment, he didn't point out her small gesture. "Firstly I would like to _thank you_ for that." Clemson's green eyes beamed mockingly. "But I would appreciate it if you stop with the weird gifts."

The older boy oohed. "Dead rat it is for next year, pumpkin." He squeezed her nose until it turned slightly red and made a dumb joke about Rudolph the Reindeer before sauntering off to his class with a couple of his friends – in Lulu's head, all of them had target marks behind their head. All she needed was a bow, a sheath of arrows, everything would be perfe-

"Happy belated birthday."

Lulu swiftly spinned on her heels to the other direction where her eyes met, for the second time in the week, the newcomer's blue ones. The girl groaned inwardly – _That's why Clemson kept sending glances at something behind me!_

"Mason! Uh… thank you."

Mason gripped the strap of his brown sling bag and swallowed away the nervous lump that was forming in his throat. After he knew that the word 'karate' was associated with this girl, he had to make sure he didn't set up her temper. "Sorry, I kind of… came at the wrong time and I overheard some things."

"No, that's alright. Is there something you need?"

"Nothing, just… I haven't thanked you properly. You know, for saving me yesterday."

"What? That's nothing. Though I should probably ask you…" Her eyes then seemed to gaze at something over his shoulder.

"About what?" Mason followed her gaze, and that was when he found Phil speed-walking (thanks to the no running in the corridor rule) towards him.

The younger twin practically cringed at the messy sight of his brother; ruffled hair, raised collar, that silly betrayed look he put on his face…

"Not cool, man!" was Phil's greeting as he pointed an accusing finger at Mason. "You could've woken me up."

"By all means, Phil, I really tried..." He slapped his brother's finger away like it was a fly, sneakily conjuring a small grin, "…to the point that I've stopped doing so." Phil retaliated. If only his attempts of protest weren't so childish, he probably would've at least shoved his brother a bit to wipe away that sly grin of his. Mason was able to keep him at bay with only an annoyed roll of his eyes, and before Phil could say something along the lines of 'brother betrayer', Mason said, "Look at the bright side, Philip. You arrived just in time."

With Mason already anticipating a silly attempt of revenge, Phil glowered childishly, "Oh I'll-"

"Why didn't you tell me you have a doppelganger?!" Lulu squealed in delight at the sight of them fighting.

Both twins reacted at the same time in the same way. "Pardon?" Then, to their shock and amazement, Lulu genuinely laughed in amusement, before attacking them with a blinding flash from her Polaroid. "Of course, I had my suspicions," she started to ramble as the boys tried to recover and the camera spitted out a gray frame of the undeveloped picture. "After all, Hans did say he met a new kid with brown hair and blue eyes, but with a different name. I'm telling you, I could be a detective."

"Well, good for you, then," said Mason as his doubled annoyance finally died down. Phil offered no comment, though he was quite wide eyed at that moment.

"So," Lulu took a good look at the identical boys, as if she was playing a spot-the-difference game. "Mason and Philip, huh?" With a sort of authoritative flare, she flapped the film around unnecessarily just for the fun of it and let them have a short glance at the picture. "Gotta jet, boys!" she said, taking off to her first class of the day. The twins almost didn't hear her excited cry of, "Later!" from the end of the hall as she hurried to her class.

Being twelve years old, no matter how mature he already was, at first Mason couldn't understand the seemingly frozen state of his brother. His eyes were wide open and couldn't leave the spot where Lulu had stood a few minutes ago as if the rest of the world didn't matter…

"Phil? Are you alright?" When Phil didn't answer, Mason took it as a permission to drag him to class because the bell would ring any minute now. He tugged his brother onwards, heading for Mr. Yatsu's math class.

And then, like a huge slap on the back, Mason embarrassingly realized the obvious. "Oh no." It was too late to run and leave his brother like this morning, though. Suddenly Phil returned to reality and grabbed hold of his shoulders and stopped him from sprinting.

"Bro!" With the same excitement Lulu had when she found out that they were twins, he turned his brother around to face him. Mason had seen his brother in his giddy mood before, but none of those were like this. And as the words "Who was that?" came out of Phil's mouth slowly and secretly, Mason knew that whatever was coming could not be good.

Mason raised his eyebrow and replied carefully. "That girl back there?"

"Who else, genius?"

"Miss Leeves," he said nonchalantly just to annoy Phil, and to prove his theory.

Phil looked like he was trapped in another trance before realizing Mason's rather simple answer. "What?" he almost yelled in disbelief, shaking his brother's shoulders. "That's not what I meant!"

Mason merely brushed him off and continued his walk to math class, grinning madly because he got to mess with Phil twice that day, but also silently annoyed that he had to share first and last period with his brother acting weird like this.

"Oh come on, Mace!"

"Don't call me that."

"What's her name?"

"Phil-"

"Come on, bro, tell me!"

They reached math class that was just filing up with other too-lazy-for-math looking seven graders. It was a bit hard to ignore the looks they were getting because of Phil.

"If you could just-"

"Fine, I'll find out myself," Phil said confidently, like a proud knight.

Mason rolled his eyes in amusement as he entered. "Oh sure. Go on and stalk the principal's daughter. I'm sure that won't get us both expelled." With that, he let the door close on its own, leaving Phil who thought that Mason was still right next to him daydreaming of a certain girl with two braids outside.

"I'm not gonna stalk her, Mason. And if I do, it won't be called stalking it would be called 'making friends'!"

The bell rang furiously, so did his consciousness.

"Wait what was that part about the principal?"


	5. Dinners and Siblings

**A/N: Hey-o. Chapter go is a go!**

**PS: Go is Japanese for five. (Nuh uh, still not getting better with puns)**

**Disclaimer: Kookiebites13 does not own PoM, Dreamworks does. And this story is purely fiction.**

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Chapter 5: Dinners and Siblings (Part 1)

Madeline gave a wince as she heard the horrible _splat_ sound, followed by Maru's screech and Phil's desperate yelp – all three came from the bottom of the stairs in the living room.

"Be careful, Phil!" her husband shouted from where the rest of the family were, the dining table. He shook his head, turning the newspaper over to the next page to see how yesterday's local football games went. He wasn't much of a fan, but he was pretty determined to get along more with his new coworkers. And since this morning they wouldn't shut up about yesterday's _darn kickoff_, he thought football might just be the perfect opportunity.

Joseph Pane was a man in his late thirties. He was tall and skinny with brown-and-slightly-red hair, a pair of glasses (and a monocular just because he loved antiques), a taste in good watches and normal obsession with TV crime-dramas. Mason considered him a genius in profits and marketing, because he could practically persuade anyone to do what he wants without sounding ridiculous or making no sense at all. Which was why the twins made an agreement a long time ago to never give their father any stupid ideas to save their family from embarrassment. Despite being a genius businessman with high status in his career world, his reputation for embarrassing his children was far higher than the sky itself.

"Dad, people would probably forget about it by tomorrow," commented Mason, somewhat slightly annoyed that his father got to read a newspaper on the dining table while he didn't get to do so with his poem compilation book – which by the way had disappeared. That, and because everyone knew their father's effort wouldn't work much anyway after all those comments of his about _throwing misshapen balls with your hands_. Phil was the only sport enthusiast in the family, really. The only sport Joseph Pane did regularly without any complain was chess.

"It's football, Mason. These people are crazy about it!" he said just as Phil was entering the room, rubbing his sore elbow. The older twin greeted their father with a simple nod before plopping down on his usual seat next to Mason's. The twins didn't give any sign of acknowledging each other's presence as Mason quickly returned to his musings about his list of homework while Phil had his head propped by one of his hands and another one hugging his stomach trying to contain the incredible hunger he was feeling. "Hey, maybe one of you should sign up for football team later in high school!"

The twins, who gave each other a short knowing side glance, came up with a messy chorus of "No, thanks," and "Nope. Basketball," as their answer.

Their father laughed. He grew up as an only child, so after being blessed with a pair of twins who could talk to each other with some sort of telepathy, his own sons' banter became his personal amusement. He would've patted them hard on the back if it weren't for the fact that they were sitting across from him – fortunately for the twins. "Oh come on, I was kidding, boys."

Mason smiled politely and Phil rolled his eyes. One excused himself to help their mother. The other trailed him without thinking twice before their father could say anything else. Mason's annoyed glare came for him right after, just as expected.

_You owe me for saving your butt._

_Don't be so smug, Mason._

_Hey, I came up with the idea to help Mom out with dinner._

_Pfft, anyone could come up with that idea._

_Oh, really?_

_I could._

Mason snorted, cutting their eye contact.

"What are we having for dinner, Mom?"

Phil sniffed the kitchen air a few times. "I smell pot roast!"

Their mother's head peered up from the edge of the fridge door with a small grin. "Philip, you owe your brother for that, you know." Madeline then winked at Mason who had his hands behind his back and a sly look on his face.

"Mooom…" Phil whined, at the same time giving Mason a death glare while their mother wasn't looking. "Don't call me that."

If their father had a taste in good watches, their mother had a taste in good poetry and house décor. She also had a habit of going nuts about formal dress code, she said she always felt under-dressed whenever their dad took her to a business meeting with his friends. But the twins knew that it was all her fault for not accepting their dad's offer to buy her fancy dresses. She took baking as a _professional hobby_, taking it to the extreme by always pretending that she was in Master Chef. And Phil couldn't decide which one was weirder: the fact that their mom was challenging people on TV (who by the way couldn't even hear her) for a bake-off or the fact that she and their father would argue every night about 'ways to kill people'. It was still creepy, even when the twins knew that they were watching CSI while doing so.

"That's the thing about being parents, _Philip._" Mason snickered at their mother's comment. "We get to decide what to name our kids."

Phil was about to reply with a snarky remark when he was interrupted by a hungry meow. An orange chubby cat was sitting by the kitchen door, her eyes were wide with plea, probably suffering from the smell of pot roast like Phil was.

"Well aren't ya hungry."

It mewed in response.

"Good. Me too." Phil patted his stomach lightly. He turned to Mason. "Why don't you get her dinner, Mason?"

He furrowed his eyebrow. "Me?"

"Yeah!" Phil shoved his brother out of the kitchen, making their mother chuckle. "You help Maru, I'll help Mom with the pot roast."

"Phil," Mason growled warningly. Phil shushed him with his finger.

"Can't you feel how tortured Maru is right now, bro? I mean, look at her sweet face!"

"You're not doing this."

"Oh I am," Phil whispered quickly. He earned a curious look from Maru. "'_Aww, Mason, I'm hungry. You will help me, won't you?' _See that sad face, Mason?" Maru looked perfectly normal. "Do you want to disappoint her?" Phil went to last resort by giving his brother a cute puppy dog eyes look. Their mother said he was born with the ability and could melt the hearts of everyone within beaming distance.

But Mason wouldn't be called the serious one if he couldn't resist its effect.

Mason uncrossed his arms with a tired sigh, finally giving up out of pity. "Fine. But only because you begged pathetically."

Phil punched his fist into the air, then disappeared back into the kitchen while Mason motioned for the orange cat to follow him. On his way out he just smiled and shook his head when he heard his father's murmur of, "Oh the joy of having a sibling…."

"Meow."

"Yes, I know, Phil's such an annoying little-"

_Ding dong._

"Mason can you-?"

"I'll get it!" The boy shot a sympathetic look at the cat before he made a dash towards the door with Maru trailing not far behind.

* * *

"_Kowalski, I need intel on Bluejoe's new invention asap."_

"_Sorry, I didn't get a clear view of it last night." Just a few steps behind them, Rico yawned wide, and Private who usually reminds him to close his mouth with his hand when yawning seemed too tired to care, as he just waddled clumsily and at the same time trying to keep both his eyes open. Kowalski glanced at the poor boy's sleep deprived state before his own yawn caught up to Rico's. "But rest assured, the ray's paralyzing effect would only last for a few hours."_

"_Which is enough time to take over the whole school, Kowalski," grumbled Skipper. "And these psycho kids aren't battle ready either," he added after a couple of kids in a hurry passed by and the four were alone in the dorm hall once again._

_Private raised his hands. "Skippah, permission to skip first period? I'm not exactly in the mood for Mrs. Dunn's one hour long lecture on contemporary art's history, and I don't want to hurt her feelings."_

_Skipper checked his watch slash mini laser gun. First period started fifteen minutes ago, and his men weren't exactly in fit condition to go through detention (plus they don't have time for it, anyway, what with Bluejoe on the loose once again with a new weapon). "Permission granted, soldier. Go catch some z's. That's an order for all of you. I'll see you at lunch." Kowalski, Rico, and Private saluted their leader, then sauntered tiredly to their own bedroom (which was right next to each other's, really). Rico almost passed out before opening his door, and poor Private inserted his key on the wrong door._

"_This is gonna be a long day."_

"Don't worry, Skip," groaned the brunette girl who was lying upside down on the couch as she massaged her sore arms. "I had a long day too." Today's practice was a little rougher on her than usual, mostly because she was too busy thinking about the idiot who locked a poor kid in her locker a couple of days ago to focus on stretching. So in the end, well, she payed quite a price – though it came with a positive side too, because right now she was pondering whether to act sick and use her bruising bodies as an excuse to skip school on Monday. She muted the TV as the credits started rolling. Her eyes left the screen only after the list of casts showed up.

"I deserve to be among those amazing actors!"

"Yeah right."

Hans let out a muffled 'ouch' as a pillow smacked right onto his face. The thrower, Lulu, was a total mess. Her unbraided hair was tangled in wild knots, and she hadn't bothered changing out from her gi like her mother had told her to when she arrived home an hour ago. She was resolved to grant herself a 'Friday night freedom', saying she was too tired to eat or change into her pajamas. So she kicked off her shoes and trotted upstairs to her bedroom. As expected, the 'too tired to do anything' excuse didn't apply to a couple of Immortals new episodes.

With a voice like an evil ghost, she said, "Who gave you the authority to enter my maze of destruction?"

Hans rolled his eyes as he _tried _to approach the couch in his sister's room. "What is it with you and darkness? I almost can't see a thing in this place! And aren't you gonna eat?"

Lulu's finger pointed an empty bucket of strawberry ice cream on the coffee table nearby.

"Really, sis?"

Lulu suddenly got up and stared at him with a poker face, then she said, "Friday night's freedom, Hans," before falling backwards.

"Well, okay." Hans squinted his eyes as he made his way towards the couch. The boy sat down, pretending the bright ads that illuminated her dark room weren't hurting his eyes at all. "Mom's at Aunt Greta's. And you were right, Clemson does know your locker combination."

"Ugh, that fiend!" Another pillow was launched into the air. It touched the ceiling briefly before it bounced down, targeting Hans' slick black hair. Fortunately he moved just in time.

Hans sighed, grabbing the remote to change the channel. Without particularly having interest in what happened between his sister and their cousin this time, he asked, "Oh no. What is it now?"

"Nothing. Just… what a cool birthday present he gave me on Tuesday. I already confronted him about it though."

"Was it another dissected frog or do you rather wish that it was?"

"You just stopped making sense by asking that question."

Hans shrugged, stifling a yawn. "I try my best to speak your language."

"Aw, you do love me."

From the way Lulu started ranting about karate practice and avoiding the topic of Clemson's present, Hans instantly knew that Clemson did something _really special_ this time. Tuning out Lulu's voice, he wondered what it could be (a dead bird, that photo of Lulu when she had to wear a pink gi for her tournament due to a clothes mixing _accident_? Clemson didn't pour stale milk over her history report, did he?) while surfing through the channels.

"…you should've seen his forms, Hans, it was awful! Also, Sensei Yamaguchi said his apprentice would start working at the dojo next week. He better not be lame. And he better not be cute because all the girls will lose their focus and we really need to practice hard for this year's tournament and we couldn't possibly-"

"What's so bad about it?" Hans suddenly interrupted, though not looking at her. He knew she needed him not to, if he really wanted to get an answer out of his sister.

"Well we couldn't disappoint Sensei again, could we?" she retorted. Huffing a stray hair out of her face, she propelled her back from the sofa with her elbows and stared at Hans with one of her warning glares. _Ah, so she knew what I was talking about_, thought Hans.

Hans decided to leave the TV alone, shifting near the coffee table where the large empty bucket of ice cream hid a medium sized red book from his view. Picking it up, gagging slightly at the sight of poetic and old english words on the insides, he responded. "Clemson's present for you," Hans clarified, for the sake of the charade, "What's so bad about it?"

Until this day, Hans still didn't know why in a spur of moment Lulu had plucked the book out of his hands and dashed through the front door into the peppermint autumn air with nothing but her gi and coat.

* * *

**A/N: Man, this one's twice as long as the previous. Booyaah!**

**I've always intended for Hans and Lulu to be siblings, but I didn't know I will like him in his role so much. And Clumsy Clemsy, too. Wait for more appearance from the Hoboken fam.**


End file.
